Winter Solstice: Savoring the Stillness of the Season with Krissy Shields - EP 061

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What if the season of slowing down is exactly what your soul needs right now? 

In this episode, I sit down with Krissy Shields to reflect on the deeper meaning of the winter solstice and what this season teaches us about stillness, integration, and growth. We explore the four phases of a woman’s life—maiden, mother, queen, and crone—and how each phase carries its own wisdom and responsibility. We talk about the importance of honoring darkness as part of the growth process, rather than something to rush through or avoid. Krissy and I also discuss the role of community in helping us gain clarity, build capacity, and stay rooted in authenticity.

This conversation is an invitation to slow down, face your inner shadows with courage, and embrace the quiet transformation that leads to integrity, alignment, and meaningful impact.

Episode Takeaways:

• The winter solstice is a time for reflection and transition
• Women move through four life phases, each with unique wisdom
• The queen phase represents sovereignty and empowerment
• Integration supports clarity and long-term growth
• Darkness plays a vital role in transformation
• Community helps deepen understanding and alignment
• Light symbolizes renewal and new beginnings
• Authenticity requires courage and vulnerability
  
  

Key Insights:

“We are afraid of the dark. We want light, we want bright, we want fast fixes. But this season is asking us to go deeper and stay there long enough to recalibrate. The darkness is where we gather information, where clarity forms, where the real work happens. And then, when the light returns, we don’t come back the same—we come back integrated.”

“This queen phase—this sovereign phase—is the season of ‘I’ve done the work.’ I don’t have to prove myself. I don’t owe anything to anyone. I get to be in this season of my wisdom. It’s not about producing or hustling or caretaking everything anymore. It’s about recognizing that this is the prime of life, where we get to stand in our clarity, our discernment, and our authority, and decide what actually deserves our energy.”

Resources Mentioned:

• Qoya Inspired Movement
• Earth Warriors Oracle Deck by Alana Fairchild
• Messages from the Heart of the Divine Oracle Deck by Ashley River Brant
• The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron

 

Connect with Krissy Shields: 

• Instagram: @krissyshields

Connect With Me:

• Email: [email protected]
• Instagram: @RachelAnzalone
• Facebook: Rachel.Anzalone
• LinkedIn: RachelAnzalone

Question for Your Reflection:

What season of life am I currently in, and what is it asking of me?

 

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Remember: Your pleasure is your power. 💫

 

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TRANSCRIPT

Rachel Anzalone (00:38)

Hello and welcome to Pleasure and Profits. I'm your host, Rachel Anzalone. And in this episode, I'm in conversation once again with my good friend, Krissy Shields, as we explore the final seasonal transition of 2025, the winter solstice.

If you've been listening for a while, you know that Krissy has joined me for each of the seasonal transitions this year. And so she is here again to share her wisdom as a wellness expert, an artist and an activist who has been empowering women and families with accessible movement practices, spiritual herbalism and mindfulness for over 20 years. In this conversation, we're talking about a recent awareness, a realization, something the two of us learned together recently that has just completely blown our minds and shifted our perspective on this season of our lives.

We're talking about the transition from autumn into winter, the significance of the winter season and the winter solstice, the meaning of integrity and integration and how it relates to this season.

As always, our conversation has many twists and turns. It's a winding meandering conversation and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Krissy (01:46)

Hi friend. Here's some light on the situation.

Rachel Anzalone (01:50)

Yes, welcome back, Krissy.

Krissy (01:53)

I'm so happy to be here.

Rachel Anzalone (01:54)

I'm so happy you're here. I've been looking forward to this conversation for like, I think a few weeks. It was before Thanksgiving and I was like, when are we gonna do it? When are we gonna have this conversation? You know, the solstice and also just cause to sit and talk with you for an hour about the things we're both interested in is always fun.

Krissy (02:12)

Yes, I think I said, uh, how did I respond? Um, I thought you'd never ask.

Rachel Anzalone (02:18)

Yeah, exactly. 

Krissy (02:20)

Here we are.

Rachel Anzalone (02:20)

Here we are. So we have been on this journey around the calendar this year together. You've been with us for the spring equinox. We talked about planting seeds of joy. You were here for the summer solstice. We talked about weeding and tending the garden and developing discernment. And autumn, we talked about the harvest and recognizing when it's time to let go of things. And now here we are approaching the winter solstice And before we get into this conversation about the solstice, I wanna talk about something that has been a hot topic between you and me for the last couple of weeks, which is around these four seasons, but also the four sort of seasons of women's lives and this, don't know, I can't even say it's a realization. It's like somebody just dropped a knowledge bomb on us that somehow we had missed. I still, I think, cracking us both open a little bit of like, wait a minute, is everything that I thought I knew wrong? And maybe, it is, right?

 

Krissy (03:27)

Yeah, I mean, I think it's just an evolution in a lot of ways. So let's talk about what it is. The secret, our secret.

 

Rachel Anzalone (03:32)

Mm. Okay, so yeah, so what we're talking about is, of course, we talk about the four seasons, spring, summer, autumn, and winter. And in conversations around women and women's lives and how we develop and sort of the seasons that we go through through our lifetime, I don't know, for as long as I've been studying or learning anything around this stuff, at least the last 25, 28 years or so, it's always been maiden, mother, crone. These sort of three seasons of a woman's then a couple weeks ago, our dear friend Rochelle, the creator of Qoya Inspired Movement, dropped on us, queen as the fourth seasons of a woman's life. And it was like, what the fuck? How did we not, how did we not get I think the thing that really has blown my mind is like, well, of course there's four. Of course there's four seasons of a lifetime because there's four seasons of, you know, of the calendar, there's four seasons to everything. Why did we just accept that there were three? And for me, they never fit my life because I'm not a mother. so, and then here we are. I'm like, I'm not a crone right now. What are we, right? And so yeah, please share what this kind of realization has been for you.

 

Krissy (05:00)

Yeah, mean, the first thing I thought is, well, there's a lot more people choosing to not have children, so that's one piece of it that there is a burgeoning number of those that choose to not be mothers. The other piece is the life expectancy is so much longer than it used to be. Then I think about, when we are carrying and when we are like first in that stage, there is like a lot of, I need to learn about this. You know, I hope that you're in a place of like, how to give birth and what do I want and making choices and advocating and understanding and it's really truly empowerment. Like I hope that people go through that. But we often think about it as the three stages of pregnancy. That's the thing that occurred to me. It's the first trimester, the second trimester and the third trimester.

 

Rachel Anzalone (05:50)

Mmm. But there is a lot of talk these days about a fourth trimester. Yeah.

 

Krissy (05:59)

Exactly.

 

Which is postpartum and in a culture where we don't even honor that period of time because we are expected to be bounced back and the body bounces back miraculously into this like, pre-pregnancy weight, you know, and then the work.

 

Rachel Anzalone (06:07)

Yes, ⁓ my god

 

Krissy (06:21)

the production bounces back. Like, our society is so not skewed to nurture any of the stages, to really honor any of the wisdom of the women we want to rush, we want to get through. Great.

 

Rachel Anzalone (06:30)

Right. Yeah, just thinking about this Queen era and this era you and I are both in. When I sat, I was writing about this the other morning and I realized if you take the life expectancy now for most people in our culture, for women, it's 80 something to, mean, my grandmother lived to be like 97 and she spent most of her life subsisting on microwaved coffee and a piece of toast. She definitely wasn't lifting weights and pounding creatine like most of us are in our 40s and 50s these days. And so when I think about that, it's like, if I just imagine for myself that I'm gonna live into my 90s, then that maiden phase is still somewhere around maybe 23, 24. That mother phase is that, you know, up to age maybe 44, 45, 46, somewhere around there. And then there's this queen phase. And what's been interesting for me as a reflection of that is, you know, I mentioned like, oh, I'm not a mother. And therefore this maiden mother crone thing always felt a little off to me, but

 

Krissy (07:27)

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

 

Rachel Anzalone (07:46)

putting the queen phase in there turned on a light bulb for me that was energetically, I have been mothering everything that I do for these last 25 years. I have been caretaking. I have been caretaking businesses. I've been caretaking clients. I've been caretaking projects. I've truly been mothering them in the way that I feel responsible for every aspect of them and I need to make sure they're safe and I need to make sure they're, I've been helicopter parenting probably a lot of it. And that in these last couple of years, this transition into like perimenopause, mid-40s, that I really feel a shift from that sense of mothering a child responsibility into like, it's time for them to get out of the nest and for me to focus on what's for me and not be helicopter parenting, not be mothering and caretaking, even in my work in the world. And so it feels super present in so many women that I know who are in these kind of mid-40s into mid-50s, mid-60s, mid-70s. It's like, they're in the prime of their life right now. So crone does not feel like the right description. Yeah.

 

Krissy (09:01)

Right. I always chose wise woman. So that's why I was able to get past the croneness of it. But I love the crone. I love the crone. But having this section, this piece of the puzzle really, you know, and your clarity this week, which we've discussed, and I just absolutely love.

 

Rachel Anzalone (09:04)

Yes. Mm-hmm.

 

Krissy (09:25)

Cause I'm in a similar phase, you know, actually somewhat similar with my children. I have a near college age child, you know, she just turned 17. I don't think that I'm not a mother, but I am definitely moving into sovereign. And that queendom that you're talking about, that I can't mother in a helicopter. I mean, I could. People do.

 

Rachel Anzalone (09:54)

Yeah.

 

Krissy (09:57)

But who does that feel good for? It certainly doesn't feel good for a kid that's, you know, feels like they're trapped. And it wouldn't feel good for me to hover, even though I still sometimes do, but I'm working on it. I have a 14 year old too, so I kind of have to, a little. But this clarity that you got really speaks to what this season is as well.

 

Rachel Anzalone (10:22)

Yeah.

 

Krissy (10:23)

Because it's the nesting season. It's the time to dream. It's the time to garner the information and get the clarity in stillness. We think that the clarity has to come through the work and the work and the work. I just heard a friend say this. She just moved into motherhood.

 

Rachel Anzalone (10:39)

Mmm.

 

Krissy (10:44)

She said, I haven't worked in a long time, but I think I'm better at my craft than I was before. Because of this stillness, you know, there's something to maturing and the space. You know, we think that the grind is necessary, but it's really the space that's where the clarity can come.

 

Rachel Anzalone (10:53)

Yeah. Yeah, that's where growth happens. You know, when we think about fitness, health, it's like you build strength in the repairing of the muscle when you're resting. You could lift the weight, but if you don't give it the opportunity to rest and repair, then you don't actually build the strength that's in that resting period where the muscle grows.

 

Krissy (11:15)

Okay.

 

Rachel Anzalone (11:26)

And so, you know, if we think about these four seasons of a woman's life and we think about the four seasons of the year and this lining up of spring as the maiden and summer as the mother, and that is that like hard working. It's right. It's like sun, bold, energetic. It's like it's like doing the work, showing up every day and working right. 

 

Krissy (11:40)

Fertile. Yeah.

 

Rachel Anzalone (11:52)

And then the autumn being the harvest, that is this queen phase, this sovereign phase of like, I've done the work and I'm here and they don't have to prove myself and they don't owe anything to anyone. I get to just be in this season of my wisdom. So that feels good. Yeah.

 

Krissy (11:59)

Mm-hmm. Real good, real good. I also believe within each of these are ripples of cycles, right? Like even thinking about the four stages of menstruation, we have within on a monthly basis.

 

Rachel Anzalone (12:18)

Yeah.

 

Krissy (12:26)

It's like we work rest, work rest, work rest in that time, but it's like the peak is like just higher in that, you know, twenties into thirties phase,

 

Rachel Anzalone (12:29)

Yeah.

 

Everything is a cycle. It's the cycle of the moon, the cycle of the sun, there's many, many, many layers of this. And then we have personal seasons as well that might not be related to the calendar or to the period of time that we're in, but related to choices that we make.

 

And I think we can make some effort to align with the seasons of nature. And then also sometimes it just comes out of nowhere and we have to succumb to whatever season is happening for us, whether it's what we choose or not.

 

Krissy (13:07)

Totally, completely. Yeah, it's a beautiful awareness. And I think that that's kind of perfect in this portal of the Gemini full moon of getting more and more clarity and getting more and more information. It's just, it's a doozy. It's a doozy.

 

Rachel Anzalone (13:08)

Yeah, it really is. It really is. This Queen sovereign season aligned with sort of the themes of the autumn right now in the calendar year. We're transitioning out of autumn and into winter with the winter solstice.

 

And so let's, let's lean into that a little bit now. And I actually want to share, I pulled a card and I know you did too. So let's do this. I, I went to pull a card, um, and I pulled two, they were stuck together and, um, you know, sometimes it's like, Oh, they're just stuck together, but these were like stuck together. And I thought, have these two cards never, like not been stuck together? I don't know what's happening. And one of them I think is super appropriate for this moment and the other one I'm gonna save for later in our conversation. And maybe you can find the perfect time for the card you pulled as well to bring that in. So this card that I pulled is,

 

Krissy (14:19)

Okay, cool. Okay, great. Fun.

 

Rachel Anzalone (14:28)

It's from the Earth Warrior's Oracle Deck. The meaning is child of the light.

 

Krissy (14:31)

Mm-hmm.

 

Rachel Anzalone (14:37)

And so I'm going to read just like the very beginning of this, because here we are in this moment of we're approaching the solstice, it's getting darker and darker. And then the solstice is the beginning, the coming of the light, right? It's the very beginning of the light coming back to us. And so what it says is there is a divine light that does not cast a shadow, nor does it cast judgment.

 

Even though it reveals truth, a truth that is sometimes hard to acknowledge and requires that we change our ways. True divine light is healing. It is unifying. It brings hope and illumines the way. Other sorts of light exist on this planet that are not so pure nor so helpful. Those sorts of light may appear stunningly bright, yet in effect create separation and increase ego.

 

You can recognize genuine divine presence not by how dazzling it may appear at first, but by what your devotion to that divine light evokes in your heart and in your world.

Rachel Anzalone (15:33)

And so we were talking right before we started recording about, it aligns perfectly with this conversation of the sovereign and the wise woman. We were talking about how much wisdom there is in the circles, the women that we're in, how many brilliant, talented, incredible people that they are, and they might not be the flashiest, brightest light.

 

They might not have the biggest platform. They might not be getting the multi-six-figure book deal, and yet they maybe carry more wisdom or have more to contribute than the people who are those sort of flashing lights. There's something more pure. There's something deeper and more resonant about the work that they're doing in the world or the message they have to share. And… I don't know, I feel like a little bit like that's the message of this moment of this season is like the depth of the work, the depth of it all instead of the shiny object, the brightness of it.

 

Krissy (16:33)

Actually, my husband says depth over breath.

 

Rachel Anzalone (16:37)

Yes.

 

Krissy (16:38)

And yeah, mean, this talk about depth, the thing that I've been thinking about where it does kind of overlap with the winter solstice is the darkness, is moving and moving and moving and moving deeper into the darkness. And as a culture perhaps, maybe it's the world, but I know that in the culture that we live in, We are afraid of darkness. want light, we want bright, we want flashy, we want, even in terms of holidays, we can't, I mean, it is capitalism and we are in late stage capitalism, so it's like, bye.

 

Rachel Anzalone (17:17)

Hahaha

 

Krissy (17:18)

Buy a gift. You have to buy a gift. You're not buying a gift. But there is this fear of the dark. And I want to say that I've even had my own kind of wrestling with the dark and that I want to share about. This goes back to depth. I'm not adverse to going deep. I'm not adverse to going to the dark. But I want to fix it and fix it fast and get the fuck out of there.

 

Rachel Anzalone (17:46)

Mmm. Yeah.

 

Krissy (17:49)

I don't know if anyone else can relate to that. So because I've been in a place of deep self-reflection for a long period of time in recovery, I have noticed that going deep feels like, like I don't want to stay there anymore because I've been through the trenches.

 

Rachel Anzalone (18:15)

Hmm.

 

Krissy (18:15)

And there's what lies within there can be guilt and shame. And guilt and shame can feel sticky sometimes. And so it's like quickly get me out so that I can get back to the light. And this period of queendom of going deeper and going deeper and descending into the cave for the gold.

 

You know, there's certain areas in the world, one being in Egypt and one being in Scotland, where in the Stone Ages, they build structures so that on the solstice, when the light appears at the tilt of the axis of the Earth, when the light appears, it hits this particular stone structure.

 

So we've been desiring the light more since forever because darkness is hard. But what happens like a recalibration in that depth. And we're in that. We're the season that we are in.

 

Rachel Anzalone (19:20)

Yeah.

 

Krissy (19:26)

You know, on the full moon, it's December 4th, I believe, right? Yes, it's December 4th. so, yeah, that we're recording this, you know, we're like, you know, like descending into the darkness, into the depth. And that's, you know, again, back to a little bit back into, you know, the harvest period is like, we're gathering the information, we're gathering the information and now

 

Rachel Anzalone (19:30)

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Krissy (19:50)

It's like, okay, we have the information. And we're in this Queendom. And then we're ready. We're ready to come back into that light. And here's the operative word that I have been leaning into personally in a lot of clarity from going deep is...

 

Rachel Anzalone (20:13)

Yes.

 

Krissy (20:14)

And that's where the change happens into the solstice.

 

Rachel Anzalone (20:20)

Yeah, what you're bringing to mind, is around this idea of going into the darkness, like gathering all the information, going into the darkness and then taking the time to integrate. Like that's the part that I think we skip often. I know I have for forever. I realized I would like go from, and I'm sure I've talked about this on the podcast before.

 

I’d go from experience to experience to experience and never take the time to really slow down and integrate what it was that I learned.

 

Krissy (20:54)

Because it's just a word, can we talk about what that word means? Yeah, I mean, you and I know, but like we live it like in our practice, but I think for our audiences.

 

Rachel Anzalone (20:58)

Integration. Yeah.

 

Yeah, actually, I'm like reminded of it because I listen to Smartless and I know you do too, that I'm like our listener, our one listener.

 

Krissy (21:16)

Shaun's sister in Minnesota.

 

Rachel Anzalone (21:16)

Just want to explain this. Yes, our one listener, I actually really want to, I want to look up the roots of integration and integrity.

 

And the reason is because it has never occurred to me to associate those two words until last month I gave a talk on integrity for the Prosper Network. And it wasn't the talk that I had planned. It was after observing what everybody was talking about, I realized that the sort of what I was gonna talk about was covered, in so many ways, and that I wanted to take the conversation a little bit deeper, and so integrity was the kind of the core of that. And it's that alignment with yourself. It's about like being true and whole. And then, because all things are magical, coming into December, Rochelle and the theme for the month of December in our Qoya practice and lore in our daily practice is integrity and integration. And I thought, hmm, let's really dig into like what those two words mean and how they relate to each other. And so I'm going to do a little root word search. And while I do that, if you want to talk.

 

Krissy (22:34)

Well, I just want to talk about synchronicity and magic because the card that I brought into the world today is authentically you. And I just can't get over the root system, the sunflowers, these cougars lying like everything is connected, the plants, the star seeds.

 

Rachel Anzalone (22:39)

Yes. Hahaha. Yes.

 

Krissy (23:02)

I did not pull the page, but I'm happy to find this page and talk a little bit about exactly what you were saying about what it means to be in this queendom means stepping into who are you and,

 

The lack of fucks that you give in the world. You're welcome and I'm sorry.

 

Rachel Anzalone (23:32)

Yeah.

 

Krissy (23:36)

People pleasing and doing what you feel you should do to keep the peace, trying to attract attention and get a certain reaction out of people by changing yourself or expressing something that does not resonate. Like, are we still in this in our late 40s and 50s? Because if it's about

 

Rachel Anzalone (23:55)

Yes.

 

Krissy (24:01)

If it's about production and how it looks, I would want to say, shake it off, baby, shake it off. And go back to what is authentically and who you are and what you are about in the world. So did you get integrity and integration?

 

Rachel Anzalone (24:11)

Yeah. I did, and all of these words are related, which I think is why they feel so resonant to us and very resonant to this season that we're exiting as we enter into the winter season. And yes, I feel like we are still like collectively working on this. And I know individually, we all have our own experiences of it, but I definitely have noticed, in particularly in the last year, and I would say in an extreme way in the last like three to six months, where there are so many things that I would have spent my energy and time on that in this season, it's like that it's not a priority. doesn't matter.

 

I don't care what somebody thinks. I have no fucks left to give. And the ones I do are gonna be for the things that are important and not for any of the things that I feel like take up so much time and energy in women's lives.

 

Krissy (25:11)

I also feel like we have been run in the last year by a bunch of clowns. Dare I get political, but I'm gonna. And I feel like we should give less fucks because mediocre men have been just throwing things at the wall.

 

Rachel Anzalone (25:24)

Yeah. I definitely talk about the wild success of mediocre men on a regular basis, so it's fine.

 

Krissy (25:38)

It comes back to who are you truly? What problem are you looking to solve in your work? And how can we be a best service? And I say we because I believe we're moving from this isolated and very individualistic society into a more collaborative, more we process that the more we have done the depth of work of understanding who we are and how best our particular work is and magic is in this world, we are going to be able to come together and say, you do this and you do this and I'll do this and

 

Rachel Anzalone (26:09)

Yeah.

 

Krissy (26:28)

Together can support, you know, and change, make change.

 

Rachel Anzalone (26:32)

Yes, yes, okay, brilliant. Like I couldn't have, you could not have set that up better because the definition of integrity that I leaned into in my talk last two weeks ago, three weeks ago, was not the one that's most commonly used. The one that's most commonly used is about being honest and having moral principles, being like an upright citizen.

 

But the second definition, which is the one that I leaned into, which speaks directly to what you were just saying, is the state of being whole and undivided. And that definition, when we're talking about as individuals, the state of being whole and undivided, that is living in alignment, living an authentic life. And back to what you were just saying…

 

What does it mean to be whole and undivided as a society, as a community? And so I don't believe we can expect our community or our society to be an integrity, to be an estate that is whole and undivided if we ourselves are not.

 

in a state of being whole and undivided, if we are not in integrity, if we are not in authenticity. And if we are constantly trying to meet some measurement that somebody else has put out, that's the stick that we're supposed to measure ourselves against, then we're not. Then we're constantly contorting ourselves or trying to fit into some other example of what things are supposed to be instead of really being authentic.

 

And I don't know, maybe that's the root cause of all of our problems.

 

Krissy (28:07)

I think that it is. I think that that goes from like, are you going deep? And that means getting messy. And that means feeling uncomfortable that uncomfortability doesn't happen for us as often.

 

Rachel Anzalone (28:23)

Mmm.

 

Krissy (28:24)

And that's something that brings depth.

 

I don't know, I don't think that that's a virtue in our culture. And I think that I'm excited to lean into more and more people desiring that.

 

Rachel Anzalone (28:39)

…desiring that authenticity and that state of being whole and undivided, even when it means being uncomfortable because everybody around you is doing something different or, you know, holding an expectation or being judgmental about it. ⁓ But that's...

 

Krissy (28:54)

Well, yeah, judgment is so easy to separate. It's like, that person does that, you know, not me, I don't do that. But really the darkness, the shadow is seeing that mirror reflection that I am that person. I am that drug addict on the street. I am that rageful person that murdered the people around them that I am. Like we are, we all are. And when we see the shadow, we can actually have more compassion and understand each other a little bit more. We're not othering, we're actually going, no, I can see that in me.

 

Rachel Anzalone (29:31)

Yeah. Yes, yeah.

 

Okay, so from this definition of integrity, the state of being whole and undivided, to what does it mean to integrate or to be integrating, is to combine one thing with another so that they become whole. So it's taking two things and combining them together to one whole. And so in the context of taking the time to integrate what we've learned or integrate experiences, in my mind, what this means is I can go have an experience or I can learn a thing. And it's like, I'm in the presence of that.

 

But that's not the same as it becoming part of who I am. And that's the integration piece. And that takes longer, and it takes reflection, and it takes discussion, and that happens in that darkness and in that depth. And that's the piece that I feel like in so many ways is missing. know, we talk about like, just the volume of information that we get to take in and how much of it is at such a surface level versus things that are really substantive where the person teaching it or the person sharing it really has that integrated understanding of it and can share it in a meaningful way. so, thinking about in this context of like the going deep, and doing that integration, what comes to mind for me as we're making this transition, like right now we're two weeks before the solstice-ish, like as we're recording this, is that we're in that depth, we're in that darkness, and then the solstice is that darkest day of the year. And then it's immediately followed by the coming of the light. 

 

Rachel Anzalone (31:24)

And that… after integration, what has to happen, and I said this to you in a completely unrelated context yesterday, but it's all coming together now, is that if we don't then share what we've integrated, if we don't bring it, this was like a major moment for me yesterday, if we don't then share what we've integrated, if we don't then let it come into the light, then,

 

Krissy (31:39)

I hoped you were going there.

 

Rachel Anzalone (31:50)

It's then what?

 

I don't want to say it's for nothing or it's meaningless, it certainly doesn't have the impact that it could have. Yeah.

 

Krissy (31:59)

Well, I know for me, if I don't share it aloud, and that's after perhaps writing, but if I don't share it aloud, I don't, it's not crystallized in a way. It's like crystallizing in a way. It's like, okay, so let me tell you what happened to me yesterday. And I was like, I could voice memo my friend back.

 

Rachel Anzalone (32:05)

Yeah. Yeah.

 

Krissy (32:21)

Or I could just talk about this on the podcast in reference to your message about sharing. And we take Qoya Inspired Movement, which we discussed a few times on this call, which is a movement practice that integrates nature and intention setting and connection with others So every time we start practice, we look to nature. And I was in my home, online, doing things like picking up the clothes of my teenager. Okay, maybe I do helicopter a little bit.

 

Rachel Anzalone (32:58)

Hahaha

 

Krissy (33:00)

So I'm picking up the clothes and our teacher says, so take a moment and reflect to nature and see what nature is calling back to you. And so it's just a moment to look out the window and I'm in New York City. And I will say like New York City is just a little bit more challenging to connect with nature because I'm looking at the tops of buildings. I'm looking at the steam. I'm looking at the sky. Like I have moments, but I caught something outside my window that I've never caught before. And it was perfectly reflecting the sun in that moment. I'm like, later I went back to look at it and I was like, that's why I haven't really seen it, because the sun was hitting it in a particular way that made it bounce to me, right?

 

Rachel Anzalone (33:44)

Like it would have to happen at a specific time on a specific day to hit it just right. Yeah, yes.

 

Krissy (33:51)

Ra the sun was my, the light was my reflector. And it was the vines on this rooftop garden of the school across the way of my apartment. The vines were growing up along the fence and they were just, they were all dead. You know, it's winter here in New York. But all I saw was that.

 

Rachel Anzalone (33:57)

Mmm. Hmm.

 

Krissy (34:16)

And I just said, grow. I wanna grow. Today I am dancing.

 

Rachel Anzalone (34:18)

Mmm.

 

Krissy (34:21)

I want to grow. So I didn't know what that meant. And I did my practice. I have been getting more clarity in this last year in a specific area of my life. And I went to a place where I go to share with people about different things in my life that I'm trying to work through and trying to, you know, recover from. And in that meeting, because I'm able to be in a place where I hear another person share, and then in that, I'm able to go click, click, click, click. It all comes together because synchronicity is real.

 

Rachel Anzalone (34:58)

Mm.

 

Krissy (35:09)

And I came back to that moment of growth that I set my intention to grow today. And the growth was in this past year, and this is all like synchronicity of, of the Gemini full moon, having more clarity and having more, ⁓ truth come, come to light. I was able to see that there's one area of my life and another area of my life, are intricately woven and that I was able to just in the sharing realize that in order to get more clarity on this area, I need to to work with this area. And it was like, and and that unweaving will bring me clarity in both.

 

Rachel Anzalone (35:36)

Mmm. Mmm.

 

Krissy (35:56)

The reason why I bring that up is that moment came to me because light hit a particular part of nature that lit me in a flash of a moment. was like, and looked to nature and I kind of looked in a window that I never look through because it's my daughter's room. And I looked up and I saw these vines growing and it's like growth. And I was off doing the next thing. And it just reminds me that that integration is the integration that we should be living with. And I say should, but we could be living with in nature every single day.

 

Rachel Anzalone (36:35)

Yeah.

 

Krissy (36:37)

And if we actually, instead of stealing and taking from nature, we lived in reciprocity, we lived deeply as sovereign queens on our land with the wisdom to know that,

 

Rachel Anzalone (36:45)

Hmm.

 

Krissy (36:51)

That is where we can find in a simple practice of listening to nature. Now, some days it's a hit and it's a hit and I've been doing this for a few years now with you. It doesn't always happen like that. It's not every single day I'm getting these like massive hits, but it happened for me and it goes back to that sharing piece.

 

Rachel Anzalone (37:10)

Yeah.

 

Krissy (37:16)

because I was listening to someone else share about their life. Again, sometimes, you know, an hour a day, I do this, sometimes two hours a day. I sit and I listen to people grapple with things in their lives, in ways to find depth and more clarity. And I'm hit. Not every day, not every week. But I get hit with sometimes, me too. I get that.

 

Rachel Anzalone (37:41)

Yeah, yeah, it speaks to that, the community and the collective thing that we need to become or be whole together as a community and integrity. We need to integrate as a community because we do learn from each other that like somebody else's experience, we can listen and hear and observe and we can learn from that as well because we are, we are all connected. We are all related and we learn from each other. And that's why it's so important to let the light hit the thing that you're integrating, that you're experiencing to be able to share it in a meaningful way, because it is going to have impact on other people, whether it's just the one-on-one person you're talking to in private.

 

You know, if we didn't have one listener listening to this podcast with us, if it was just you and I, ⁓ if we, I know there's more than one. Okay. But you know, it could be a private conversation. It could be on a podcast like this. It could be in a meeting. It could be in a community share. It could be in a book that you're writing. It could be in a blog post. It could be in a teaching capacity, but whatever it is that you're, that you have integrated or you're in the process of integrating, of finding a way to let the light hit it and share it out in the world, which is what I said to you a couple days ago.

 

I realized that I get so much satisfaction of processing and writing, thinking, being in, I mean, I will have like out loud conversations or in my head conversations with the universe. Answers come, downloads happen. I can just have that experience.

 

And then sometimes I'm writing, sometimes I'm not, but I will feel so satisfied with that that I'm ready to move on. And then realizing like, if I'm not sharing this in any way with anyone, then in what way is that limiting the impact that I'm having? In what way then am I separating myself from community or from the collective?

 

instead of allowing those insights and those experiences and those reflections to filter out into the world in some way.

 

Krissy (39:49)

Mm-hmm. Yeah. I think that this isolation that we went through during COVID, has done a disservice to us. And there is something really exquisite about moving into the Winter Solstice that is about isolation. It is about being the architect that dreams before the plans come and meditate and vision and back to that place ether living to then come forward. even think about the seeds that are planted in the autumn that have to go through the cold stratification. They have to toughen up through that in order to blossom and grow. And there's a fine line of that isolation to blossom, right? To integrate. Because that's a really beautiful time to come into integrity, come into authentically you, is to come into solitude and replenish.

 

Rachel Anzalone (40:44)

Yeah.

 

Krissy (41:04)

and have that ability to connect and share and know that integration and crystallization comes through reflection and mirroring. I was able to mirror nature to myself. And sometimes the mirror isn't pretty and it doesn't feel good. And I do want to say this

 

Rachel Anzalone (41:14)

Yes. Yeah. Mmm.

 

Krissy (41:25)

I think it's important to realize that we do need to have the light on certain things and certain oppressions and certain ways that we treat and where we are closest to power in each room and knowing and understanding what each room we step into and where we can bring people along and, you know, find more equity.

 

Rachel Anzalone (41:50)

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. we're talking a lot about being in the darkness and the integration and all of that. And this part of this solstice message is the coming of the light, that it's like, it is the longest, darkest day, but then it immediately starts to get lighter and lighter and lighter and lighter. And so just thinking about how we ease into the lightness, you know, how we ease into, like you were sharing and you said it's not really solid, it's sort of ideas or, you know, it's in the ether a little bit because nothing comes fully baked in like the moment, right? It always is like, there's a little bit of an evolution, there's talking about it brings it into a little more form and then talking about it more or writing about it, dissecting it, really exploring it brings it into greater and greater form and as the light expands as we move from the winter solstice towards the spring, it creates an opportunity to bring more light and more light and more light to whatever it is that we've been incubating and nourishing and integrating. And so it's kind of a strategic hibernation. It's kind of a time of like tending the unseen, hibernating and caring for ourselves and our work or our community in a very strategic way. There is like a massive return on investment of being in self-care, of being in the quiet and the darkness so that as the light comes, you're ready to share it. You're ready to to lean into it.

 

Krissy (43:26)

Mmm. Yeah.

 

I don't know if I have anything more to say on that.

 

Rachel Anzalone (43:30)

That's okay. I'm gonna read this other card that I pulled because it's perfect here.

 

Krissy (43:37)

I yeah, I think go for it.

 

Rachel Anzalone (43:40)

It's actually beautiful. The lion. This is the one that was stuck to the back of the other card. That maybe I've never seen before because they truly, it was like they have been together for all of time. And here's what I feel like is relevant or what feels aligned in this moment is.

 

The message that you are destined to know and experience what it is to be truly empowered. Your voice, your courage, your wisdom, and your dignity can create considerable spiritual light, uplifting and inspiring others, guiding them from a place of spiritual truth toward the fulfillment of their divine potential.

 

Krissy (44:19)

Both of those cards talked about light. I just want to say this. Based on that card and based on what my personal experience and what I just experienced yesterday, which was just like tears of relief, joy, and like it's not going to be easy what I'm talking about. Like this weaving. Like I am like feeling awake.

 

Rachel Anzalone (44:21)

Mm-hmm.

 

Krissy (44:45)

takes courage to look in the depth, to look beneath underneath the rug, you know? And there might be guilt and shame and there might be regret and there's definitely gonna be unfinished business that needs to be taken care of. And that is the work. Like what a gift. That's my acronym, RUGS, which I think I talked about last time. Did I talk about it last time?

 

Rachel Anzalone (44:47)

Yeah. Say what it is again. Regret…

 

Krissy (45:11)

Regrets, unfinished business, guilt, shame.

 

And it takes courage to really look into the depth of that and come to the light, you know, come to the light a little lighter, a little more free, which allows us to be of more service, which allows us to have, the capacity to hold more. You know, we are expected in this age to straddle two generations, especially as people are living longer. We're caring for our elders and we're ushering in the kids. And so we're in this straddle. So we need the capacity for this.

 

Rachel Anzalone (45:58)

Mmm. Yeah.

 

Krissy (45:59)

And the stamina and in order to, and we're going through menopause, right? So it's a requiring of like a true deep dive, the sisterhood, the gathering to talk and reflect and get those shimmers of light and then, rest so that we can have more capacity to be able to serve more. All at the same time.

 

Krissy (46:24)

and care for more and, you know, hold the container that is wider and bigger, but not alone because we are doing it together.

 

Rachel Anzalone (46:35)

Yes, okay, so I feel like this idea of capacity building aligns really strongly with where I feel like I'm at in my business right now in terms of really looking at every single thing that I'm doing and what I'm spending my time on and my energy and where I'm actually having the impact that I feel like I'm here to make and where I'm not removing the things that are consuming capacity, that are taking up space and energy and time, and investing and creating my own capacity to deliver in bigger ways and more meaningful ways and more impactful ways. So that kind of leaning into this season for me as a time period of capacity building feels really true.

 

What does that mean for you, this idea of capacity building, in terms of your work in the world?

 

Krissy (47:33)

Yeah, I'm really excited for the dreaming state that happens in this period. I have been in a longer winter than I anticipated. And that is just because I have the constructs of capitalism that I'm unwinding from and colonialism of like produce, produce, produce. I'm only worth anything if I'm in butterfly stage. And I have been in cocoon stage for a while and thinking like, I'm coming out of the cocoon. I'm about to flourish into an embryo. You know what I mean? Like all the different ways that I can parallel it. like, know, my butterfly isn't flying yet.

 

Rachel Anzalone (48:07)

Mm. Yeah, yep.

 

Krissy (48:26)

And because I'm dreaming of something different and bigger that holds a wider capacity than what the structures of what have been built before and what I have done before. And dreaming beyond, you know, what has already been built.

 

I'm building more clarity and that's like, it has been a time of depth. It has been a time of uncomfortability. It has been a time of self-discovery in a way that I couldn't do the capacity building that I envision that I can see without the other work of depth.

 

And it just was more turns around the clock, around the wheel, around the calendar. The other day I was doing morning pages and you and I are doing the artist's way together with a group of people. I was writing all of the things that I have done in the last five plus years, basically since March of 2020. And I just kept writing and writing and writing. And I was like, this is incredible.

 

I'm going to move from the state of mind, which is part of the clarity. What do I keep telling myself? What do I keep repeating? What I've been repeating was I'm not producing, I'm not making, I'm not a cog on the wheel. I've stepped back thankfully I have so that I have greater capacity for what I am building, you I hope that makes sense, but.

 

Rachel Anzalone (50:06)

Yeah, it absolutely does.

 

I think it's a really resonant message because what I find, what I have found for myself and what I have found is true for so many of the people, the listeners, people in my community, people, clients who really resonate with this work that I feel so called to is that we've received this message for our whole lives that success equals productivity and it's productivity at any cost. And you can look out there in the world and see people who are just being productive and producing, you know, financial success, producing visibility success, producing awards and accolades and all that stuff. 

 

And what I have found for myself is that doing that at any cost feels so out of alignment and out of integrity for me it's exhausting. It is energy it feels so out of integrity that I can't bring myself to do it and so well, I guess kind of the the point of that is that for some of us, it's more important to be in integrity and to be in authenticity. And when we do that, it means we have to separate ourselves from these expectations of productivity and really trust the season that we're in. And the more we fight that, the longer it takes. And so I know I've been through this over the years, you and I have talked about this. 

 

I'm like, no, but I've been in the winter and I'm ready to come out. And it's like, well, guess what? If I was ready to be out, I would be out. You know, I wouldn't still be in this state of trying to like work it out in some way. And, you know, there's no timeline And we all just have to kind of be on our own path. And if you're a person where the integrity and the authenticity feels so important to you.

 

Krissy (51:44)

Right.

 

Rachel Anzalone (52:02)

And that the work feels meaningful to you and you're not just making widgets and selling, you know, whatever for the sake of selling something and making money, then trust that and lean into that timeline. Yeah.

 

Krissy (52:13)

That's exactly right.

 

Reward will come. It will come. We need to take the time, yeah, to know ourselves and to be able to live into that. And that comes in the season, in this winter, wintering season, which is really beautiful. But it's slow and it's hard. Yeah.

 

Rachel Anzalone (52:28)

Yeah. And it's a different path.

 

Yeah, and it's a different path than like you said, kind of at the beginning, it's like we don't wanna be in that state, right? Like there's a part of us that's like, can it just be easy? Can it just happen? Can I avoid this depth work? And you can, and there are lots of people who do. And you can choose that life or you can choose this life where you're...

 

Krissy (52:53)

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

 

Rachel Anzalone (53:02)

You know, you're doing the work to be authentic and to be an integrity. It's a different path. And, um, you know, and sometimes, like you said, we go, it's not, it's not linear. Everything's in seasons. Sometimes we got to suck it up and do the thing we don't want to do to make the money or to to take care of the thing or whatever. And, um, and that's just part of the season in the cycle too. so, whoo.

 

Krissy (53:19)

Right.

 

Rachel Anzalone (53:28)

Here we are.

 

Krissy (53:29)

Here we are. I'm in the season of fixing my fence so the deer don't come in and putting logs and getting my firewood for my fire.

 

Rachel Anzalone (53:33)

Hahaha

 

Yeah, yes. Well, I am just incredibly grateful for having spent the year in these conversations with you going through each season. And I'm really grateful for the wisdom that you bring here, that you've brought to this podcast, to these conversations, and also that you bring to my life for, I don't know, almost nine years, eight years, nine years we've been talking at least a couple times a month, I feel super grateful for it, for you and the ability to share and to integrate together. And I will, I'm just gonna reflect to you the...

 

I remember the first moment I saw you.

 

Krissy (54:22)

Mm.

 

Rachel Anzalone (54:22)

Oh, I just got teary. We were at an event, and I walked into a coffee shop in Austin, Texas, and in front of me was this fierce woman that I just, I watched you, and I just thought, wow, that woman is incredible. Like, I just was in awe of you, and then… and then here we are nine years later, and I adore you.

 

Krissy (54:49)

Thank you for sharing that. you know, when we need our people and I hope that everyone that's listening has their people to be able to shine the light and reflect.

 

Rachel Anzalone (55:02)

Thank you so much. I love you and thank you all for listening. Until next time, remember your pleasure is your power. Take care.

 

Krissy (55:02)

I love you. Thank you.